Ask the Question Column in Bangalore Mirror

Everyday newspaper are bundled with reports of corruption, rape, assault, sedition charges, left, right conflict, and so on. It’s like a cheap paperback which has it all sex, violence, corruption, and what  not.

In all these mess around us, there’s one place where I get some kinky, and often funny questions. So, for a little mirth, I turn to Bangalore Mirror’s Ask the sex expert column.

On your lucky day, there are some questions which are full on hilarious stuffs and witty answers by the sexexpert Dr Mahinder Watsa           

Here are few interesting/funnyquestions from this column, and intelligent answer by the Sex expert. I’ll keep updating this post with more juicy, witty, and informative Q&A from this column.

I hope you’ll pass these practical jokes. Say thanks to Doctor Mahinder Watsa for his honest, and spontaneous reply.

January, 2016

(Q) I have just become a father. I hove my wife’s new enlarged breasts. I suckle on them while having intercourse. I dn’t want her to breast feed my child. I ask her to feed the child only baby food. I am obsessed. What should I do?
(A) Why not consider buying a cow? Unfortunately milk brands, don’t bottle human milk. Leave what is meant for the baby’s growth and behave like a responsible dad.

November, 2014

(Q) I want to have sex with my grandmother. How should I approach her for this? I don’t want to settle with just fantasizing about her.

(A) Do not approach her, but approach a psychiatrist with a request to give you some electric shocks.

August 19, 2014
( real wacky ones)

(Q)Can a female pigeon become pregnant when she immediately sits on her eggs on which has put freshly ejaculated human semen. Or can she carry the sperms along with her? Can pigeons by any chance get pregnant with human sperms?

(A) Imagine a pigeon man – that should keep you busy the whole day. Sperms and ovaries are specific for each species.

(Q) If a man presses the mouth of his penis against a steel cupboard, ejaculates and semen oozes out onto the surface which he does not clear, after which a woman touches the same handle of the almirah and then insert that same hand deep inside her vagina, can she get pregnant?

(A)Have you never thought of visiting a psychiatrist? Are you really using this crazy method of masturbation? If a women touches the cabinet door, she is likely to give you a slap and many lock you up inside. 🙂

May 17, 2014

(Q) My girlfriend and I have been dating for one year. We enjoy sex. But recently she has been talking a lot about her ex. This has given rise to a strange problem. Every time I try to get intimate with her, I hear her ex’s voice coming from her navel asking me to get lost. I have done some research and concluded that her navel is a portal to her ex. I lover her very much and I want to marry her. But this worrying me.

(A) Tell your friend to tell her navel friend to get lost . You nee to visit a psychiatrist. Pleas let me know your research technique. I shall try talking to my navel.

Feb 20, 2014
(Q) I’m a 32 year old married man. I had undergone surgery for poles. Prior to this surgery, I would be excited about sex but now, I’m not excited by anything anyone. Is there a connection between the two?

(A) Your excitement is generated in the brain and not in your anus. Try to identify the cause or visit a sexpert. The quicker you start thinking rationally the sooner you will become normal.

(Q) I am a 21-year old man. While masturbating, I realized that the semen seems to be transparent and not as think as it used to be . I am worried.

Is semen watching your hobby? You will be happy to know that thick or think , transparent or dense, the quality of sperm is the same. Which is what matter for conception.

Jan 5, 2014

(Q) I’ve experienced that when semen is evenly applied to the face and left to dry., it feels like the skin is  tightening. In my opinion, this is much better than any skin tightening pack available at a beauty parlous. Is this harmful in any way especially for fair skin?

(A) Get a patent. A lot of beauty specialists may start recruiting men. I see no harm in doing what you do.

 October 20, 2013

(Q) I am a 29- year-old women and my husband is 34. He has a small penis and ejaculates within two minutes. Since I am dissatisfied, he allows me to have sex with our neighbor who is well endowed. Now my husband want to invite one more friend over for an orgy. I confided in my elder sister, and she too wants to join. Besides whenever i see a stranger, I look at his groin and fantasie about the size. Is this normal?

(A) I can’t figure what advice to give a mixed-up family like yours. You are certainly no an average women. And neither is your husband.

October 18, 2013
(Q) I am 18 years old. My curious friend has asked me to ask you a questions. What will happen if you put a drop of Fevi-quick glue inside the urinary opening of the penis?

(A) Are you sure you are not the curious friend? With a close opening, the urine bladder will become so full, it will burst. You will need an operative procedure to restart the flow. Want to know what will happen in you swallowed a lemon? You will not be able to ask such silly question.

June 17, 2013

(Q) I have been married for 10 years. Thought It’s a happy marriage, I get attracted to each and every other women I meet. This is ‘unrequited love’. Is it normal or should I see a psychiatrist?

(A) Do get attracted but go no further. Mos men are like you – they have little appreciation for what they already have

(Q) My partner and I were dry humping each other. He was in his boxers and I was in my panties. Will this make me pregnant?

(A) Even the willy sperm cannot overcome this barrier. But there are all chances that you will move to the next step. It is then wen a problem may occur. Always use protection.

March 2, 2013

(Q) I came to know through your column that there is a very strong man who can enjoy sex twice or thrice within a short gap. Can you provide me his phone number?

(A) THIS IS NOT AN AGENCY. We only answer queries to help people

March 1, 2013

(Q) I am 23 year old. I enjoy porn movies. The other day, I got wild and had unprotected sex with my dog. Is there a chance pregnancy? Can i continue having sex with my dog?

(A) The is no dogman, or mandog in this world. Dogs also have rights, so have you asked him his feeling?  I am sure he will prefer his own kind. In any case, avoid as you could get an infection which can be difficult to cure.