How to Get Invited to Parties in Bangalore

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Source: canseeyourdisco.livejournal.com

Actually, I’m not the right person to write a post. A person like me, who’s anonymous in the party circles, a person who hardly get’s a recognition from the bar studs, or bartenders or the security at the gates. So, why am I writing such a post. Call it my desire to get noticed, get invited made me think of such a post.

When you are young, just out of college or working in a company with young buddies, there’s always a chance to get invited. As years roll, as age stacks against you, then the chances of people calling over get’s down the ladder.

How do you find booze buddies?
  Does it happen by chance or is it something which evolves with time? can you make it happen?

Often, booze buddies are mostly formed from long time friendship or office buddies. Also, it happens like this way: gym partners, or salsa partners, business allies, conspirators, hobby club members, common friends, etc, etc.

So, I was wondering about this – Is there way to increase booze buddies? Just imagine that you got bored with the usual set of guys and girls you hang around, then what’s the next option. You can probably skip few invitation or try a new pub where you know that few of your acquaintances are hanging around. Have you tried this “Hey Neighborhood” App?

If you’re a lady, it’s not a difficult task to explore new options, and if you’re a guy with a fat wallet, again, there is no problem to get invite from all around – friend, friend’s friend, etc. What about a guy who’s less popular, and who can’t afford big ticket stuff?

Here are the link to posts on the dos and don’t of getting invite to parties.

1) Can’t figure out why I’m not invited to a party

2) Step-by-step guide to getting invite to parties

3) How to gain the attention you deserve in a party?

4) 10 points on how to follow the party etiquette

5) Wiki guide to getting invite to parties

6) Find your way to high-end parties ( Another gem from Lifehaker)

What about the big party places in Indira Nagar?

Off-late, 12th main Indira Nagar has gained the name as the party hot spot of Bangalore. This is because of the new-age pubs and lounge bars in Indira Nagar locality. So, what are the big and mid-level party grounds in this buzzing locality in Indira Nagar.

1) Loft 38

2) Black Rabbit

3) Monkey Bar

4) Vapour

5) Toit

6) Cirrus

7) One Night in Bangkok

8) Hangover

9) Salt

10) Jimi’s

11) The Humming Tree

Juiciest Sex Love Questions to Sexexpert Bangalore Mirror

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Ask the Question Column in Bangalore Mirror

Everyday newspaper are bundled with reports of corruption, rape, assault, sedition charges, left, right conflict, and so on. It’s like a cheap paperback which has it all sex, violence, corruption, and what  not.

In all these mess around us, there’s one place where I get some kinky, and often funny questions. So, for a little mirth, I turn to Bangalore Mirror’s Ask the sex expert column.

On your lucky day, there are some questions which are full on hilarious stuffs and witty answers by the sexexpert Dr Mahinder Watsa           

Here are few interesting/funnyquestions from this column, and intelligent answer by the Sex expert. I’ll keep updating this post with more juicy, witty, and informative Q&A from this column.

I hope you’ll pass these practical jokes. Say thanks to Doctor Mahinder Watsa for his honest, and spontaneous reply.

January, 2016

(Q) I have just become a father. I hove my wife’s new enlarged breasts. I suckle on them while having intercourse. I dn’t want her to breast feed my child. I ask her to feed the child only baby food. I am obsessed. What should I do?
(A) Why not consider buying a cow? Unfortunately milk brands, don’t bottle human milk. Leave what is meant for the baby’s growth and behave like a responsible dad.

November, 2014

(Q) I want to have sex with my grandmother. How should I approach her for this? I don’t want to settle with just fantasizing about her.

(A) Do not approach her, but approach a psychiatrist with a request to give you some electric shocks.

August 19, 2014
( real wacky ones)

(Q)Can a female pigeon become pregnant when she immediately sits on her eggs on which has put freshly ejaculated human semen. Or can she carry the sperms along with her? Can pigeons by any chance get pregnant with human sperms?

(A) Imagine a pigeon man – that should keep you busy the whole day. Sperms and ovaries are specific for each species.

(Q) If a man presses the mouth of his penis against a steel cupboard, ejaculates and semen oozes out onto the surface which he does not clear, after which a woman touches the same handle of the almirah and then insert that same hand deep inside her vagina, can she get pregnant?

(A)Have you never thought of visiting a psychiatrist? Are you really using this crazy method of masturbation? If a women touches the cabinet door, she is likely to give you a slap and many lock you up inside. 🙂

May 17, 2014

(Q) My girlfriend and I have been dating for one year. We enjoy sex. But recently she has been talking a lot about her ex. This has given rise to a strange problem. Every time I try to get intimate with her, I hear her ex’s voice coming from her navel asking me to get lost. I have done some research and concluded that her navel is a portal to her ex. I lover her very much and I want to marry her. But this worrying me.

(A) Tell your friend to tell her navel friend to get lost . You nee to visit a psychiatrist. Pleas let me know your research technique. I shall try talking to my navel.

Feb 20, 2014
(Q) I’m a 32 year old married man. I had undergone surgery for poles. Prior to this surgery, I would be excited about sex but now, I’m not excited by anything anyone. Is there a connection between the two?

(A) Your excitement is generated in the brain and not in your anus. Try to identify the cause or visit a sexpert. The quicker you start thinking rationally the sooner you will become normal.

(Q) I am a 21-year old man. While masturbating, I realized that the semen seems to be transparent and not as think as it used to be . I am worried.

Is semen watching your hobby? You will be happy to know that thick or think , transparent or dense, the quality of sperm is the same. Which is what matter for conception.

Jan 5, 2014

(Q) I’ve experienced that when semen is evenly applied to the face and left to dry., it feels like the skin is  tightening. In my opinion, this is much better than any skin tightening pack available at a beauty parlous. Is this harmful in any way especially for fair skin?

(A) Get a patent. A lot of beauty specialists may start recruiting men. I see no harm in doing what you do.

 October 20, 2013

(Q) I am a 29- year-old women and my husband is 34. He has a small penis and ejaculates within two minutes. Since I am dissatisfied, he allows me to have sex with our neighbor who is well endowed. Now my husband want to invite one more friend over for an orgy. I confided in my elder sister, and she too wants to join. Besides whenever i see a stranger, I look at his groin and fantasie about the size. Is this normal?

(A) I can’t figure what advice to give a mixed-up family like yours. You are certainly no an average women. And neither is your husband.

October 18, 2013
(Q) I am 18 years old. My curious friend has asked me to ask you a questions. What will happen if you put a drop of Fevi-quick glue inside the urinary opening of the penis?

(A) Are you sure you are not the curious friend? With a close opening, the urine bladder will become so full, it will burst. You will need an operative procedure to restart the flow. Want to know what will happen in you swallowed a lemon? You will not be able to ask such silly question.

June 17, 2013

(Q) I have been married for 10 years. Thought It’s a happy marriage, I get attracted to each and every other women I meet. This is ‘unrequited love’. Is it normal or should I see a psychiatrist?

(A) Do get attracted but go no further. Mos men are like you – they have little appreciation for what they already have

(Q) My partner and I were dry humping each other. He was in his boxers and I was in my panties. Will this make me pregnant?

(A) Even the willy sperm cannot overcome this barrier. But there are all chances that you will move to the next step. It is then wen a problem may occur. Always use protection.

March 2, 2013

(Q) I came to know through your column that there is a very strong man who can enjoy sex twice or thrice within a short gap. Can you provide me his phone number?

(A) THIS IS NOT AN AGENCY. We only answer queries to help people

March 1, 2013

(Q) I am 23 year old. I enjoy porn movies. The other day, I got wild and had unprotected sex with my dog. Is there a chance pregnancy? Can i continue having sex with my dog?

(A) The is no dogman, or mandog in this world. Dogs also have rights, so have you asked him his feeling?  I am sure he will prefer his own kind. In any case, avoid as you could get an infection which can be difficult to cure.

Margin Free Shop Margin Free Service

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I shop for provisions and other stuffs at Margin Free stores in my locality. Reason is that it’s very close to where I stay – all shops are margin free shops. During my regular trips I interact with the sales girls, most to ask the location of packed goods. So, what kind of response do I get?

In most cases, when I ask an item which is not popular, then they either say NO or they have a face which says that they are not sure. Well, I take all the trouble to visit a shop and I prefer to finish the business here. So, I again go around doing my own investigation of the item – in case it’s there in the shelf.

How trained are the salesgirls in your store?

This is an common problem with most stores in Trivandrum and elsewhere. Most of the sales staff have very little knowledge about  the items kept inside the store. But, why haven
the shore managers or owners not taking steps to train them, educated them!

Well, they are least bothered to spend money on training or to incentive on good customer support.

So, why are they not aware of the products inside the store? It’s just that they are not trained, also not motivated to learn. So, the problem is not with them, but with the management. We know what a typical management would want – just hire the person by paying the bare minimum. Also, we know that in our state, there is always people who are willing to work in such place, but wouldn’t dare to work as a baby sitter, or household maid, etc.

Ok, forget about all these things. What I like to convey in this post is simple. How can a girl who works in a margin free supermarket, can become more remarkable in life, or earn a five figure salary,

What jobs are available for them?

  1. Get trained in the art of beauty treatment and become a beautician 
  2. Open a nursery ( Sell flowering plants or medicinal plants)
  3. Take up part time job as a patient bystander ( Charge 650 a day. But, why should they pay you a premium. Well, sell them on something unique)
  4. Work as a concierge ( Not sure, if this make sense)
  5. Become a masseur ( Learn to give basic relaxation massages) Earn 600 for a oil massage. Imagine, if you get 2 msg in a day. All you need is a two-wheeler and go to client’s place.

Why the heck did I pick this margin free staff?
I often see very talented, capable girls in these stores, but the most they are doing is the repetitive, mundane job. Also, they have the potential to earn more, save more and do work that matters to them.

Well, I want them to start something of their own. This is also addressed to people in other shops, offices, where they are limiting themselves to the minuscule of work they can do. And, it’s addressed only to these talented people (only). Yes, only to people who dare to do things differently and who are willing to take risk.

If you’re reading this and you know people who have the potential to lead a more creative life, then please advice them or mentor them. There’s more in life, than being a bean counter or a salesstaff in a shop.

Hope you’ll shine!

Road Condition Alert App

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Other day I was riding my scooter on 100 ft road, Indira Nagar. As I sped across the open road, I got a real jolt! On this smooth road, there was a big gaping hole. Somehow, I managed to cling to the fragile handle bar for my life, and fortunately the scooter I was riding obeyed to my death grip.

Well, this jolt did it’s trick. I thought of a pothole alert system which would be relayed to drivers. So, how can application work.
First, a person or group of people in the network would make an entry of the size and location of the pothole or a nasty road bump or a bad patch of road.
Second, when the driver opens the app and rides, he or she gets an alert.
Bad road ahead or a pothole ahead ( 300 mts)

What’s the need for a Mobile App For Drivers?

Need proof… Just drive across Bangalore to know how the state of affairs of road. There’s no way a driver can ride with peace of mind. In every turn or sub road, there’s a surprise waiting for the driver. For example, the road in front of  ASC Centre was recently laid, but the road has very bad holes which can throw a motorist from the seat.

Such an app could be used by BMTC buses, cab drivers, private vehicles, etc. This app could be used in other cities, highways, and it could be a place where drivers can get info about the road condition, terrain, traffic flow, best time to travel, etc.

Here’s another app idea to track the pothole in Bangalore city. 

Sights Around Kumarapuram

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Fish Galore

Tuna at the Road Side Stall

‘m relatively new to Kumarapuram. If you ask me, if so and so is staying in that so and so lane, then I might give you a blank stare. Whenever I visit my house, you can see my scurrying in my old rusty Vespa scooter, with plastic covers hanging by the compartment.

So, what’s new in Kumarapuram? What has come, gone and what’ is remarkable here?

Here are few places which caught my attention:

1) Anna’s Fish Stall
2) Drive-in Margin Free Stall
3) Vasantham Nursery and tailoring shop
4) Ration offic
5) AJ Hall ( Simi Theatre)
6) Biverah ( One of the finest buffet in this locality)
7  Ganesh Tea Stall ( Typical tea and kadi’s served here)
8) Maldives embassy ( I see many maldivies in this place)
9) AK 47 Photo Studio ( Don’t know why it’s named of a fire arm)

Yoga Practice Facility in Every Corporate

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Yoga Meditation Room in Every Corporate Office
Today while walking in a near by park and flexing my aging body, I thought of “Art of Living”. Thought, I’ve never been to their classes, I know one thing they stress – how breathing affects your inner well-being. Well, I many be naive to put it this way, but that’s the only thing I know about this tribe.

Relax, Body and Mind with Right Breathing

Today, I was late to start my morning walk. It was around 7:45 and I finished my sweating biz by 8:45. And, while I was finishing my walk with simple relaxing walk, I looked around this deserted park. And, I thought to myself – where are the people? Well, answer is simple – most people don’t have the privilege like me to job or walk in the park by 8:45 in the morning. They have to get ready, have breakfast, and head to their office or cubicle. Before they reach, they have to nudge their way through this crazy traffic.

Imagine the bumper-to-bumper traffic or the bus ride through the heavy traffic junctions like Tin Factory or K.R Puram, or Hosur Road. Well, at this morning hour, there are thousands who are struck in these road, trying to reach office on time.

Whew! Office Desk is in Sight

Have you seen people who reach office after braving the traffic, summer heat and bus ride? Have you seen the relief on their faces? It’s definitely a BIG sigh!. And, then starts your daily work. Just imagine, if you’re working mostly for pay not for some driven motive or passion, how will you feel. The work will appear like a chore, to be pushed out from your desk to the next level and it goes on. Or think of the pending work, the unaccomplished target which your boss pushes on you, and all other stress in life.

So, my question is…how can your employer make things a bit easy on the employee?

Make every employee do Yoga or breathing exercise
This is my idea for today. It’s simple, and hopefully it will bring some kind of calmness or reduces stress faced by employees.
Start yoga sessions for employees. ( Not a very easy process, of finding time between meetings and deadline)
Make a room where employees can sit in peace. No noise, No Mobile Room
Pass a new rule that every employee should sit in the meditation room for 10 minutes, before occupying the office seat.
Teach breathing techniques and ensure that they practice it everyday in the office and home
Design the yoga room with plenty of green plants, with wood panels ( Avoid typical corporate feel inside this room)

What do you say? Will it work in a hectic corporate life? Will the management think of giving away 10 mins for this activity? How much will breathing exercise benefit employee’s

Masturbation Booths in India

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Quirky Idea or Remedy for Rising Rape in India

When you open the newspaper, not a day passes without some report of rape, molestation or rape and murder cases.And, there’s no let down of cases which are reported. One of the horrific rape in the recent past is the Nirbhaya case where she was physical abused and rape. While there was a hue and cry after the incident, things are just quite the same on the ground.

In Kerala, where another more horrific case came into the light when social media flamed with the hashtag #justiceforjisha. The incident, more wilder and more gruesome than than Nirbaya has again sparked the public to do the usual drama of protest and the like.

What the big question is this – Will this lead to any kind of relief or will it reduce the number of such rapes in India? I feel we have to think out of the box with new way to minimize such instances. Here’s my plan and it’s bit wierd.

1) Train Women how to Tactfully Overcome such Situation

  Well, it’s not a easy as it sounds. While physical dexterity and quick thinking might help you thwart a scenario, there are some ways to avoid to certain situations. For example, avoiding lonely streets, keeping a tab of the surroundings, or keeping some handy weapon such as pepper spray or sharp objects or even a smart object which can alert others or a Wifi device which works on voice command and gives alarm ( modeled on the lines of Amazon Echo or Google Home)

Suppose a team of experts join together as a team ( Physiologists to self-defense experts or Councillors) to train women on  how to slip away unhurt in such a situation. I hope this kind of training in schools or colleagues and offices will help women to be prepared in case of such an eventuality.

2) Build Masturbation booth in each Panchayat, towns and cites ( Relieve & let go of the tension)

In many cases, I feel this could help man to mellow down his fiery feelings. Sometimes, the bottled up sexual feeling can burst the normal logical thinking pipes. Man will be just thinking from his groin and he will later repent his action. So, why not a private masturbation room where a person can relieve his bony thoughts. We can make it better by giving these relieved men a glass of butter milk to regain and refresh. Howaboutit?

As a matter of fact, such a place should be constructed alongside of a public urinal or bathroom facility. But, not a dirty public too but one which is clean, neat and dry. As a prop, there can be few erotic men’s magazine or hot erotic posters from Debanoir to get charged. It could be something like a room where men do to get their semen tested. The dark room with a cosy couch to sit, few tissues, even a condom to finish the act.

Btw, if our corporation is out of funds to construct a booth, they can approach Playboy or get sponsor from condom company like Hindustan Latex, etc. I got this idea from the masturbation booth in New York. Well, that’s NY and not India, would be the typical answer. But, here we’re not looking for a typical solution.

 3) Inflatable Sex Dolls for Military personal

Just imagine the rough life of a military jawan who is far from home, not able to get his normal dosage of sex. And there were many instances where military jawans and officers who has abducted women from the outpost area. If it’s happy-happy it’s fine, but when it’s not a consensual act, then there are other problems. I somehow feel that these solider should be given an inflatable doll along with their ration, supplies, booze and ammunition. Well, this is something to think about? And, I wonder if any army around us is doing this or allowing servicemen to have fun with such sex toys.

Female Intervention

Well, this is an idea that just popped in my mind. To make things fast and pleasurable inside the booth, a phone line could be placed where they can talk to a female in a call centre who will talk and make the man relieve. It will be a 7 minute talk and it will be charged. Oh, again it’s going to be downright unthinkable in India, but let’s think of it, if it helps the cause. Will such a public stuff cause a stampede, just like what we see in front of liquor retail outlets in Kerala? Again, it’s a small price to pay to avoid a bad patch.

What do you think? Will this work in India? In what other way can you reduce the instances of rape in our country? Think and let me know!!

BTW: Here’s a link with the details of masturbation laws in different countries. What about it India?

Employee Cross Over Training

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Babudom ( Files & white take in sarkar Office)
Source: http://www.syzygy.org.uk/

I don’t know if the heading mentioned is right. Hopefully, you’ll get the message I wanted to share here.

This idea is about giving an opportunity for people to be in other shoes.

So, here it goes.

Recently a friend from Trivandrum called me to say that he is coming to Bangalore to attend a wedding. He asked me to do hotel booking, asked me few hot spots which he can visit in B’lore. During the conversation he asked me if we get booze in shops. He asked if it was government run retail outlets as in Kerala. I said heck NO.

Well, he is working in a senior role in a government office. And as a typical sarkari babu, who is a king in his little big world. Yes, he is a big name in the department, where he takes lot of key decision in his department.

Corporate office Tour – Eyeopener for Sarkari Babus

I feel most sarkar clerks and offices are just like tadpoles  in that deep well, without venturing to see how other states or countries are running their affairs. All they know, is their big role, and only the realms of that state.

Just like his there are scores of govt babus who run across the corridors of power as if they are the sole pillars of democracy or that particular institution. What they do not know is how other organization run much faster and efficient.

So, I was thinking if we give these fellas a guided tour to a private company. Yes, let them be in a place for a day or two and see things like:

  • Working on a digital node ( Paper less office)
  • Flow of daily tasks – How new rules evolve?
  • Attend a typical corporate office conference
  • Join for some games and fun in the office ( gym or sports)
  • Find out the bottlenecks of the operations
  • See power women who call the shots

Well, the idea is just to give an exposure to people working in traditional set-up offices to see how IT offices run. Well, it could happen vice-versa too. Means, corporate offices will be asked to sit in the chair of clerk and she how the work happens there, how the rules makes each task go slow like a snail mail.

Take home
I feel both sides has to learn from each other’s work environment. Apart from these two, there is one new setup – the startup shops. These are chaps who run from coffee houses, meet in some random coffee or beer joints, yet have serious discussion on their plan, future, etc. It’s a all-need breed of work space. We will discuss it later, when I have things to talk about them.

Summer of 2016 in Bangalore

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Natural Coolant

The unprecedented heat wave and drought in different parts of India is affecting the life of Bangaloreans. The new safety rules in Bangalore has made it compulsory for driver and pillion rider to wear those fiberglass helmets. For people travelling by bike for a long distance in the scorching has to bear the blunt of the sun’s merciless light.

There are only few lucky ones who travels either by their air cooled car, or by air conditioned Volvo buses. Except these mortals, the unfortunate lot has no other options but to traverse in the burning sun.

So, what’s the best way to keep internal system cool? What are the natural remedies, protection available?

1) Drink lots of water
2) Take tender coconut water or palm tree seeds
3) Have lime juice or sherbet juice
4) Avoid taking bikes, unless you don’t have a choice
5) Piggy ride in your colleague’s a/c car
6) Join for swimming classes 9

Resurrection of Kingfisher Brand

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Kingfisher Brand

Where have the Good Times!

It’s the lent time. Many Christians and pseudo ones are fasting – abstaining from booze, meat, etc as a remembrance of the crucifixion of Jesus, son of David.

And in few days time, the Christians around the world will break the fast on Easter Day – the day Christ rose from the dead. Easter is marked as a time of revival, hope and day for a new beginning.

In the spirit of this Easter, I wish for a new beginning, a revival or resurrection of one of India’s flamboyant brand Kingfisher Airlines.

Well, is it my daydream!

I was thinking today if there was some way to raise the millions of dollars which Kingfisher owes to the banks and to the lenders. What if Indians do a crowd-sourcing magic.

Oh, just think of such a scenario. A major and the first of the kind in the world to raise so much an amount though Kick-starter project. Will it work. What if Mr Vijay Mallya reads this post and think about it. Most probably, he will brush it down an unpractical joke.

But, I want Kingfisher to fly Indian skies. Yes, the red crew members, the superior service, etc. Also, the glamour quotient of the brand.

Can we raise so much amount through such a project. What if I contribute Rs 100 and like that millions of Indians across the world do a some kind of contribution. In case someone thinks of such a project how many hundreds will be required to fill the void. Of-course, there are many who will contribute more than hundred, say 5K or 10 K, etc.

Why I don’t like any brand or business to down its shutters?

  • B’cos their loss is our loss too
  • People loosse job when a company goes into red
  • A company is troubled watters raises the anxiety of its staff
  • Many a dreams are squashed or culled
  • Money is lost – for the investors, government and society

Mallya – Jokes Apart

 Btw, I’m fed up of the jokes which fly in Whatsapp group. Well, I’m also a part of the cheap joke stuff and I too have forwarded many such ones to my peers. But, jokes apart, how can we make those red birds fry again?

Well, in any business environment, we know that there are many which perish, and some who flourish. Well, Kingfisher is not the first airline which has gone burst. There are many in the history books. Also thinking of this, is there a book on the collection of various bankruptcy filed by airline companies. The reason, aftermath, etc and the lessons learned.

Book on How Arline Companies when Down Under – Lessons Learned!

Probably there are, but in the latest edition they can add the story of Kingfisher.

Your’s in Spirit!